Focusing on love
Last night I did a compassion meditation and maybe it stuck in my brain because today I remembered love. Maybe not the Ghandi type of love we strive for but I realized I don’t have to force myself to love everyone right away, that feels impossible. It feels like an uphill battle and then I get mad at myself which defeats the whole purpose.
I went to a yoga class with a teacher whom I know to be quite nasty (ironic) and it is hard to share love with her, the girl next to me though is another yoga teacher whom I love. Super sweet and takes no effort to love, so throughout my practice I practiced focusing my love towards her. Instead of focusing on my dislike of the teacher, I focused on the fact that I was happy to spend that time next to somebody with a beautiful practice. She embraces what I want to be in a yoga teacher, kind and accepting. That worked, then I spread it out. With everything going on in my family it is easy to focus my resentments and anger, but when I realize there was someone there for me, I focus on them. I focused on sending my love to my sister in law and niece and nephew. They are easy to love, then I thought about the other people in my life, the ones that take no effort to love.
Maybe this is the way to slowly cultivate love instead of forcing myself against my will.